Well boys and girls, it’s been two weeks since my last orgasm on Tuesday the 26th of April, just two days before Mistress Claire told me that I was only allowed one per week with her prior permission. So my thoughts have probably unsurprisingly been turning to chastity quite a lot of late, both my own and more generally so, since I have one of these blog thingies, I decided to go on something of a mental ramble. And yes, since I can be almost annoyingly coy when discussing sexual matters on this blog – my self-imposed “no naughty bits” policy for the galleries is going to need a rethink too it seems – this is going to be quite difficult for me to write without trying to pepper the entire post with euphemisms, but I’ll apologise in advance and try my best.
The cheap CB6000 clone being modelled by myself in the picture below is actually too large for me [blush] which in makes peeing problematic, so a CB6000S – where the S stands for “small” , something I’ve already pouted about extensively – is currently living a far more “jet setting” lifestyle than my own whilst travelling here from China! The current device was in place for nine hours on Sunday and I’ve been wearing it for the last thirty – bar a few quick removals to make sure everything was okay – but the majority of the last two weeks has been relying on willpower to keep me from self abuse. In that sense at least, I’m quite surprised at how well things have been going since I usually struggle with self control; this isn’t the first time I’ve been ordered to stay chaste by a Mistress but that last happened over sixteen years ago and I seem to have forgotten how hard it can be… if you’ll excuse the “pun”.
Wearing this cage even for a short period has taught me is that it’ll take time to acclimatise; there’s an almost constant temptation right now to put a hand into my knickers and “fondle” the damned thing almost in disbelief, which of course leads to an uncomfortable but completely expected reaction. It seems to be “common knowledge” in the various “how to train your man/sissy/delete as applicable” guides or indeed fiction online that keeping a submissive chaste will focus their attention on their dominant and therefore make them more willing to serve, so I’m interested to see how that works with me since I’d consider myself reasonably compliant to begin with…?
One thing that chastity really isn’t helping with is concentration; working on this post has taken a few days and required significantly more effort than usual because I’m distracting myself from the topic somewhat by bouncing back and forth checking social media, browsing BDSM-related pictures or chatting on assorted websites, “window shopping” online for new outfits and bondage accoutrements, writing a completely different and vanilla blog post simultaneously… I’m an Olympic-level procrastinator already and the sheer cage-humping frustration I went through on Sunday in particular was tormenting to say the least, so Rassilon alone knows how I’ll cope when I have a deadline to worry about! Some of the girls I’ve spoken to say they use anal stimulation to relieve the frustration and, whilst I’ve often said that I don’t enjoy the same, things are getting quite desperate so that might possibly become an option down the line! But oh goodness I hope not…
But all of this suffering is self-inflicted and I have nobody to blame but myself; I purchased this accursed thing to “experiment” with, it’s me holding the key for the moment at least and I’m the one who hasn’t asked Mistress Claire for permission to orgasm so far despite being allowed once a week. I could “bottle out” at any point by simply removing the device and abusing myself with nobody being any the wiser, but I wouldn’t do that and don’t want to either. Despite spending a fortnight pouting, saying how unfair it is to anyone who’ll listen and arguing with my Beloved over being pushed down this particular rabbit hole before I was “ready”, a part of me is nervously considering where this is going next and almost certainly looking forward to it – I’m even starting to enjoy the sensation of things being constricted when they become excited down there too.
There’s still quite a bit of trepidation because handing those keys is quite a serious commitment at least in my mind, and I really don’t want to end up in a situation where I disappoint Mistress Claire. Those worried thoughts are accompanied by all manner of dark but quite literally uncomfortably erotic thoughts about the horrible things I could potentially be “persuaded” into doing in order to hopefully earn my release… oh okay, I’m trying to be honest so hands up, most of those thoughts are things I’m just too shy to admit to wanting!
I also have an urge to buy another nun’s habit as well, but assume that’s unrelated…?