Getting married in the morning

Well, more accurately I’m getting married in the afternoon… today in fact. Well, more accurately this post’ll appear at some point during the ceremony because WordPress can do things like that but I can’t be sure what time the server thinks it is to be more accurate. So whilst i’m sitting here with a couple of hours to fill beforehand, I’m in need of a distraction and the best idea that comes to mind is writing about my being nervous and indeed why. No, I’m not entirely convinced that logic works either but it’s the best I could manage at short notice and in my current, somewhat addled state of mind.

I’m not scared of being married I hasten to add, my Beloved and I have been together for sixteen years now and I love her to pieces and she really is my soul mate so I’ve absolutely no doubts at all that this is the right thing. But for a girl who spends quite a bit of time on display in one form or another – usually to please someone else like my Mistress but that still counts – the thought of getting married and being quite near to the centre of attention without my maid’s uniform, a hood or some make up to hide behind is making my stomach do back flips right now.

I’ve jokingly said over the last couple of weeks to anybody who’d listen that it’d be easier to deal with this situation if I could wear the big white dress but it’s pretty much true as well, this is my braver side and if I could go instead of my “other half” as it were, that would’ve happened. But anyway… as I said this blog post is more me waffling to fill a little time before the big, nerve wracking moment and I’m going to sign off here; I’d like to end by thanking all of the lovely people who have offered us both their best wishes, especially those who’ve had to sit through a version of what I’ve just written when they did – sorry about that girls!

Groucho Marx once said that “marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” I suppose it depends on if I get to wear a straitjacket…?

Who the heck is Alice?

The theme for last month’s all-day TV event at Quest in Leeds was “fancy dress” and, since I had an Alice In Wonderland dressing up outfit that my Beloved had found for me in Asda a month or so beforehand, that was plonked into the toy bag and dragged across town with us on the Thursday morning. Mistress Claire arrived soon after we did and changed into a leather outfit which set my imagination racing off in multiple directions at once… with one particular dream about face sitting which had been rattling around for a couple of chaste weeks soon to come true!

Mistress had decided to try something different for the first couple of ties so, after we’d entered the dungeon, I was ordered to sit on the hard metal floor in front of the cross; my ankles were bound together, my wrists were secured to the ankle restraints on the cross itself and a rope ran around my waist held me in place. To finish things off, my ring gag and the new, shiny Lycra hood I’d just received were applied which left me in a very vulnerable position even if nobody came along to exploit it; the floor was quite uncomfortable, but not as bad as I’d expected in the long term – a chain was added to my collar and “twanged” with various implements and that was more painful overall.

The second position was similarly tough on my poor bottom, sitting on the floor in front of the throne with my legs crossed and arms tied up and back so they were out of the way whilst Mistress Claire amused herself by making me suffer in various ways before I was released to have my hands bound behind me so that Mistress could try a new toy, a nose hook. I’ve seen pictures and video of these before but never tried one and it’s an odd experience having a couple of hooks in your nostrils that pull your head back! In order to be released I had to slowly count to fifty for her.

Next my arms were bound behind me before I was led on a chain into one of the other play rooms, leaving me sitting in a corner with Audrey Anne who was already there. As I’m sure has been mentioned before I’m not into guys and that’s in part because I’ve had a few experiences where they wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and that really isn’t something you want whilst bound, so sitting there with half a dozen men in the room was something I struggled with greatly; fortunately they were all distracted and Mistress was standing in the doorway to keep one eye on me and enjoy my reaction.

Being a submissive can be both physically and emotionally difficult, we all want to please the person we’re serving but it also means being put into situations that don’t sit well for one reason or another. Not freaking out in that particular scenario was pretty hard on me and my solution was to “switch off”, disappearing into my own mind and distracting myself. We returned to the dungeon to discuss what had happened and Mistress Claire said that she was enjoying my reaction which cheered me up a little, but I’m already nervous about what she’ll want me to endure next. Once we’d finished talking I was chained standing next to the scaffold with my gag in place for a while which was something of a relaxation!

There was a new piece of furniture in the dungeon, a kneeling bench which had separate, padded platforms to keep the legs apart; this looked more secure than the other benches I’ve been taking a caning over so Mistress wanted to give it a test run… along with her new Rattan cane! I was only partially bound and received just five strokes but they were still a struggle to take and I looked a complete wreck afterwards with my hair all over the place and drool coming out of the ring gag I was wearing!

I was allowed a small break before being spread eagled on the floor with my wrists tied to different parts of the scaffolding and a spreader bar used to secure my legs apart before Mistress Clare slowly and deliberately lowered herself and sat on my face; it’s very hard to describe the experience but having her pressing down like that so I could barely breathe left me feeling wonderfully helpless; when she tired of that she stood again and proceeded to rub her stocking-clad foot all over my face for a while and, whilst I don’t consider myself to particularly have a foot fetish, I enjoyed being beneath her like that as well and would happily have licked or sucked it for her had I been commanded to

.

Miss Kate came over and, seeing me prone and helpless, decided that she’d enjoy spending some time sat on my face as well which came as quite a surprise; it was a different experience but one I hope she enjoyed as much as I did! Once I was allowed to breathe again, Mistress Claire produced some clamps which were used on my naughty bits – the third one in particular was painful and I wriggled around quite a bit in my restraints without making much of a difference – along with what I believe was a Wartenberg wheel although I didn’t realise until afterwards!

Another little rest followed and Mistress wanted to tie me in a strappado where my wrists were pulled up quite high behind me and my ankles bound together so I tottered precariously on my heels, unable to see or speak because the shiny hood and ring gag had been applied; this is still my favourite position despite being difficult on both my arms and legs, particularly in heels. For this particular set of pictures I also wore a pair of yellow gloves which were there for an online friend Maxine; we’d been talking several years ago on Yahoo and I’d posed for a series of pictures in a maid’s uniform, pink washing up gloves, a ball gag and metal restraints at her request. We had lost touch a while ago but she’d recently found me again on Fetlife and, since I was taking a pair of Marigolds for Audrey Anne’s benefit, I asked Mistress if I may wear them when I was bound.

I was released and, because it was quite close to when the buffet usually appears, Mistress decided to use me for a little rope practise before we adjourned to the bar area for food. Since i wasn’t going to be restrained during lunch this time I scurried around fetching a couple of plates of food for Mistress Claire and myself – I would have gathered a third for my Beloved but she was there already and someone had taken care of that task.

In a brief moment of what we shall amusingly refer to as “dominance” on my part earlier in the week, I’d tried to tempt Audrey Anne into spending a week chaste with the promise of wearing the aforementioned yellow Marigolds. She didn’t manage it but fortunately for her Mistress said I should wear them anyway so, after Audrey Anne was tied to the throne and gagged, I spent some time playing with her naughty bits using one gloved hand whilst the other was clamped over her mouth and nose so she could smell the rubber as I stroked. I would have loved to make her cum for me but sadly it wasn’t to be.

Then we got to the moment that I’m starting to dread each month; I was tied down on the new kneeling bench wearing my Lycra hood and panel ball gag before Mistress Claire caned me. As always it was difficult for me to take the punishment but I tried my best, although I will have to ask that I be fully restrained next time because my arms were free and I could move too much! One thing in particular which was different this time is that, after I was released, for some reason I needed a hug and reassurance that I’d been a good girl although I’m really not sure where that want came from!

Finally, I was tied sitting on the larger kneeling bench and, after a hood and gag were applied and a black bag added for good measure, Mistress Claire made me orgasm as I slowly used the air up; I was released to clean the mess I’d made on the dungeon floor up and we had to start thinking about getting ready to head home. I’d like to thank the wonderful Mistress Claire – the more observant readers will have noted that I’m calling her Mistress in this report rather than Ma’am, that’s because I was actually brave enough to ask for that change – and of course my Beloved. Thanks also to Miss Kate and Audrey Anne along with everybody else at Quest for another great day.

A brand new bag

My Beloved and I made our way to Quest in Leeds on the 23rd of March for the all day TV event. The outfit I’d chosen to wear for the day was to be my black PVC French maid’s uniform with the corset underneath, combined with hold up stockings and my favourite four inch heels. After changing I dropped off the toy bag in Quest’s dungeon and went to meet Mistress Claire in the bar, curtseying and offering to carry her bag as we moved to the dungeon.

The first tie of the day was to the scaffolding pole, with my arms being bound into position first before Mistress Claire spread my legs and had me balancing precariously on my heels which in turn put a lot of pressure on my calves and ankles which ached for days afterwards! I was hooded and gagged for this before some pictures were taken and then, pretty much out of nowhere as far as I was concerned, an airtight plastic bag was placed over my head! By coincidence I’d actually spent a week or so fantasising about breath play after seeing some videos on Xhamster, so it was almost as though Mistress Claire had read my mind which is a concern considering the mess it’s usually in.

The experience is a little difficult to quantify. Physically it was like a more subdued and far less immediate version of my reaction to poppers, my vision darkened a little at the edges and I felt lightheaded. Emotionally it was more complex, after over a year playing together I trust Mistress Claire of course, but there was still a mixture of fear and arousal from being so far out of control that she could literally when or indeed if I could breathe. But there wasn’t any sense of panic and, when I was released and subsequently bound again to the throne with my naughty bits bound, I did ask for the bag a second time.

Mistress Claire decided to bind me in a ball tie whilst sitting cross-legged on the dungeon floor; a rope between my legs and collar kept me bent forwards and a leather strap around my arms held them in place – this proved surprisingly comfortable despite the hard metal floor and being bent forwards. Thoughts of being ordered to do various things crossed my mind at the time, but I’m not sure that would have been possible with my head so low and being pulled downwards.

It was decided that I should spend some time in the cage, so that’s where I found myself, crawling on all fours into the uncomfortable space and, after a false start at trying to tie my hands behind my back and outside the bars – a lip in the cage meant it would have caused problems – I was eventually left there with my wrists bound in front of me and the door tied shut. After Mistress Claire prodded me with her foot through the bars for a while, Audrey Anne was bound lying next to me and I was left to suffer that hard wooden cage floor and uncomfortable position in her company.

Once we were both released, Mistress Claire tied us together side by side and led us on a leash around some of the club; this was more difficult than last time when we were in single file and doorways in particular required a little negotiation! — Audrey Anne spent most of the day in trouble, especially with Kate who had her standing with her hands cuffed, leash secured to the scaffolding and facing the wall for quite a while, with attempts to turn around or gain attention being “rewarded” with harsh spankings – i think her bottom was redder than mine by the end of the day!

One of the ideas Mistress Claire had been toying with for a while was to tie my arms back and have someone else feed me, so with Audrey Anne there it seemed like a good opportunity to put that into practise. The only problem was that Audrey Anne had a few… issues with behaving herself, so what would usually have taken five minutes seemed to drag on for an age; at one point when she was taken away for punishment I ended up eating half of the food on my plate unaided, picking up cocktail sausages and pieces of pork pie with my teeth! It has been noted in the past by others that I’m quite talented with my mouth, but I’m not sure this is what they’re referring to…?

After the food we returned to the dungeon and I was tied sitting on the kneeling bench for a while; usually this would be a comfortable, long term position but my damned shoulder began playing up and I had to ask to be released. I was allowed a rest to recover and, since it would soon be time to go home and I’d begged for a punishment at the start of the day, Mistress Claire strapped me securely over the small kneeling bench before applying my panel ball gag and blindfold. The intention was to send me home with marks but things didn’t quite go as planned!

Poor Audrey Anne was watching the caning so kept asking for permission to kiss my afflicted bum better and, whilst I volunteer readily to suffer at Ma’am’s hand in this way, the caning in particular is something I need to get through quite fast before the part of me regretting life choices and questioning sanity wins over! So rather than leaving cane marks, Mistress Claire instead took me over to the larger kneeling bench with my gag and blindfold still in place, bound me to it and allowed me an orgasm with the bag once more over my head, not realising quite how “floaty” I’d become until afterwards!

My only regret was that, after I’d been released, Mistress Claire mentioned giving me some marks and I chickened out, knowing how much harder it would be to take the cane post orgasm and begging her not to; if we find ourselves in that situation again I will try to be more brave. And on that note, I’d like to thank Ma’am, my Beloved, Audrey Anne and everybody else at Quest for another wonderful day and say how much I’m looking forward to the next one!

A version of this post was originally added on the 14th of April but lost when my poor, beleaguered server’s hard disk finally conked out and, because the backups had failed to run without me betting any alerts, the only option was to roll everything back a month to the last good version.