Further thoughts on chastity

As regular visitors to this blog will have noticed, I’m not the kind of girl who shares her deepest, darkest thoughts on this blog a lot (and to be honest, I want to post more frequently but I haven’t really settled on what to write about just yet) but at the moment I need to let off a little steam about my current situation because, basically, I’ve messed up. My Beloved and I spent the start of August away and, since I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of abusing myself during that time for various reasons, I spent the week chaste only to realise just before we left that we wouldn’t be back until after my regular two weeks of chastity for Mistress Claire was due to start! So there’s been an completely self-inflicted extra week on my sentence this time which has amused Mistress and my Beloved no end, especially since desperation usually sets in before the end of the second week.

The problem is that I can’t think about anything apart from… well, the deviant version of sex I usually indulge in. This last weekend was particularly hard – if you’ll excuse the “pun” – to the point where I began wearing my CB6000S for some of the time in order to stop my hands from wandering so that I could get some bloody work done! And I’ll be totally honest girls, if I could actually wear the accursed thing for longer periods it would probably have been locked in place for over a week and a half by this point. (The picture below was isn’t recent, it was taken when someone I was chatting to on Facebook wanted to see me in chastity.)

There were a couple of particularly frustrating moments where a private message to Mistress begging to make a pathetic, sticky puddle was nearly written but I managed to stay at least quite strong. But whilst the chastity device stopped my hands wandering it didn’t have much effect on my mind which has been conjuring up all sorts of torments and tortures for me to suffer, a few of which came as a surprise to me but, since I have a confession to make when kneeling before Mistress Claire as regards those naughty thoughts, I won’t go into detail just for the moment.

But with the aforementioned work out of the way last night I have nothing important to do between today and Thursday morning when I see Mistress, so right now it’s all about distracting myself; I’ve never previously had a BirchPlace profile so that seemed like something to do and then I spent some time tinkering with this website to add links to a couple of blogs written by Cinnamon and Alice which I’ve found very interesting. Now I need a few other tasks to keep myself occupied… my outfit for Thursday is ready – there’s a “back to school” theme at Quest and my Beloved found me a school uniform costume online which I’ll be wearing for that – dressing up as a schoolie isn’t making a statement to a Mistress who enjoys canes, is it?

Some thoughts on chastity

Well boys and girls, it’s been two weeks since my last orgasm on Tuesday the 26th of April, just two days before Mistress Claire told me that I was only allowed one per week with her prior permission. So my thoughts have probably unsurprisingly been turning to chastity quite a lot of late, both my own and more generally so, since I have one of these blog thingies, I decided to go on something of a mental ramble. And yes, since I can be almost annoyingly coy when discussing sexual matters on this blog – my self-imposed “no naughty bits” policy for the galleries is going to need a rethink too it seems – this is going to be quite difficult for me to write without trying to pepper the entire post with euphemisms, but I’ll apologise in advance and try my best.

The cheap CB6000 clone being modelled by myself in the picture below is actually too large for me [blush] which in makes peeing problematic, so a CB6000S – where the S stands for “small” , something I’ve already pouted about extensively – is currently living a far more “jet setting” lifestyle than my own whilst travelling here from China! The current device was in place for nine hours on Sunday and I’ve been wearing it for the last thirty – bar a few quick removals to make sure everything was okay – but the majority of the last two weeks has been relying on willpower to keep me from self abuse. In that sense at least, I’m quite surprised at how well things have been going since I usually struggle with self control; this isn’t the first time I’ve been ordered to stay chaste by a Mistress but that last happened over sixteen years ago and I seem to have forgotten how hard it can be… if you’ll excuse the “pun”.

Wearing this cage even for a short period has taught me is that it’ll take time to acclimatise; there’s an almost constant temptation right now to put a hand into my knickers and “fondle” the damned thing almost in disbelief, which of course leads to an uncomfortable but completely expected reaction. It seems to be “common knowledge” in the various “how to train your man/sissy/delete as applicable” guides or indeed fiction online that keeping a submissive chaste will focus their attention on their dominant and therefore make them more willing to serve, so I’m interested to see how that works with me since I’d consider myself reasonably compliant to begin with…?

One thing that chastity really isn’t helping with is concentration; working on this post has taken a few days and required significantly more effort than usual because I’m distracting myself from the topic somewhat by bouncing back and forth checking social media, browsing BDSM-related pictures or chatting on assorted websites, “window shopping” online for new outfits and bondage accoutrements, writing a completely different and vanilla blog post simultaneously… I’m an Olympic-level procrastinator already and the sheer cage-humping frustration I went through on Sunday in particular was tormenting to say the least, so Rassilon alone knows how I’ll cope when I have a deadline to worry about! Some of the girls I’ve spoken to say they use anal stimulation to relieve the frustration and, whilst I’ve often said that I don’t enjoy the same, things are getting quite desperate so that might possibly become an option down the line! But oh goodness I hope not…

But all of this suffering is self-inflicted and I have nobody to blame but myself; I purchased this accursed thing to “experiment” with, it’s me holding the key for the moment at least and I’m the one who hasn’t asked Mistress Claire for permission to orgasm so far despite being allowed once a week. I could “bottle out” at any point by simply removing the device and abusing myself with nobody being any the wiser, but I wouldn’t do that and don’t want to either. Despite spending a fortnight pouting, saying how unfair it is to anyone who’ll listen and arguing with my Beloved over being pushed down this particular rabbit hole before I was “ready”, a part of me is nervously considering where this is going next and almost certainly looking forward to it – I’m even starting to enjoy the sensation of things being constricted when they become excited down there too.

There’s still quite a bit of trepidation because handing those keys is quite a serious commitment at least in my mind, and I really don’t want to end up in a situation where I disappoint Mistress Claire. Those worried thoughts are accompanied by all manner of dark but quite literally uncomfortably erotic thoughts about the horrible things I could potentially be “persuaded” into doing in order to hopefully earn my release… oh okay, I’m trying to be honest so hands up, most of those thoughts are things I’m just too shy to admit to wanting!

I also have an urge to buy another nun’s habit as well, but assume that’s unrelated…?